Dear Annie: the sound of the carillon annoys the neighbor
Dear Annie: My neighbor installed wind chimes a few months ago. These are three foot long pipes that make a terrible clicking noise with every gentle breeze. I find that irritating, rude and unacceptable. I feel like it’s the same concept as playing music outside all day long, which of course no one would do, especially at 3 a.m.
I can’t sit outside and enjoy my space without hearing it constantly. I hear it at night when I try to sleep, even though I wake up at night, this early in the morning. I resorted to wearing earplugs when sleeping because the noise kept me awake. We don’t even live next door so I can’t imagine what their next door neighbors are going through.
Please don’t suggest that I tell them. I was on the way the first time I heard the terrible noise, but my husband stopped me and told me they had the right to hang whatever they wanted. (So, are they allowed to play music outside all day and all night?)
I would also like to mention that they are lovely people.
I hope you print it out so that I can send it to them anonymously. Do you have any other suggestions besides cutting it or gluing it together at 2 a.m.? — Irritated
Dear Irritated: Some people like the sound of wind chimes and find them serene. For others, it’s just noise pollution. Your neighbors belong to the first camp, and it probably hasn’t occurred to them that there is someone in the second. It’s time to ring the bell. Go talk to them and tell them you have trouble sleeping at night. Your husband might be right that he has the “right” to hang whatever he wants in his garden, but if they are lovely people like you say they will find a solution, whether it’s by completely removing the chimes, taking them out at night, or whatever.
Dear Annie: My parents are 81 and 86 years old. My younger sister and I are their only children. I take my mom and dad to doctor’s appointments and call them every day to see them. I live an hour and fifteen minutes away. My sister lives 20 minutes away and never calls or sees them. My dad says she’s busy, working, or having a house to maintain. I am not in good health and I am on disability. On top of all this, my father appointed his executor.
I was always treated like I didn’t know anything, even though I was better educated than she was. And my sister always has something to say about my weight, and it never feels good. My ringing on her phone is a pig squeal.
She’s my only sister; it’s just us. But I feel like the only abused child. I contacted her several times to discuss it, but it never goes anywhere. It doesn’t seem like we’re family. What should I do? I’m sick of crying. – Sister discarded
Dear dropout: Your sister calls you a pig doesn’t say anything about you, and that says a lot about her. But to dwell on his cruelty and the injustice of the situation is to inflict additional pain on himself. As Malachy McCourt wrote, “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
Set boundaries that are consistent with self-esteem, for example by calmly ending conversations when your sister starts cursing. Know that you are a generous and loving person, and it is wonderful that you are helping to take care of your parents.
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