Idaho needs a law banning ugly Christmas sweaters
I would love to say that I have never owned an ugly Christmas sweater, but I did. I hadn’t heard the reference at the time. I was a young man and I had come home for the holidays. One of the gifts my dad gave me was a big sweater. It certainly had an unusual design but, my God, it was hot. I ended up wearing it often on winter weekends for the next two years. It coincided with a time in my life when I just couldn’t relate to women. Maybe it was just a coincidence.
My first and last ugly sweater
Around the same time, I started reading stories about hideous Christmas clothes. At about the same time, my ugly sweater got worn out. No photograph exists of me carrying the thing. I can only say that God was in my corner!
By the way, I will see some fine examples of the species at our company Christmas party in a few weeks.
The thing is, as I get older, I don’t care what people think about my appearance. My face and hair have become unkempt and I’m comfortable in basketball shorts and a hoodie. The hoodie wraps around my pot belly. But I have to say that I would never, ever want to be caught in an ugly sweater again.
There were worse fashions
When I was young, I also wore diamonds. Often with matching socks. What the hell was I thinking?
Another point. Ugly sweaters are a luxury. You buy one as a joke for a party. You only wear it once a year. Sheesh, the point of clothes is that you get some use out of them.