Idaho needs a law banning ugly Christmas sweaters

I would love to say that I have never owned an ugly Christmas sweater, but I did. I hadn’t heard the reference at the time. I was a young man and I had come home for the holidays. One of the gifts my dad gave me was a big sweater. It certainly had an unusual design but, my God, it was hot. I ended up wearing it often on winter weekends for the next two years. It coincided with a time in my life when I just couldn’t relate to women. Maybe it was just a coincidence.

My first and last ugly sweater

Around the same time, I started reading stories about hideous Christmas clothes. At about the same time, my ugly sweater got worn out. No photograph exists of me carrying the thing. I can only say that God was in my corner!

Nothing really says “Geek! : like a hideous sweater. Photo by Bill Colley.
Oh sure. This will earn you a promotion! Photo by Bill Colley.

By the way, I will see some fine examples of the species at our company Christmas party in a few weeks.

The thing is, as I get older, I don’t care what people think about my appearance. My face and hair have become unkempt and I’m comfortable in basketball shorts and a hoodie. The hoodie wraps around my pot belly. But I have to say that I would never, ever want to be caught in an ugly sweater again.

Is it for the bedroom? Photo by Bill Colley.
Uh no ! Photo by Bill Colley.

There were worse fashions

When I was young, I also wore diamonds. Often with matching socks. What the hell was I thinking?

Another point. Ugly sweaters are a luxury. You buy one as a joke for a party. You only wear it once a year. Sheesh, the point of clothes is that you get some use out of them.

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